For many celebrities, Christmas is a time for product placement. While you and I are on our summer holidays, they are cooped up in a stuffy photo studio in August, desperately trying to summon up some cosy-jumpered, soft-focus Christmas cheer as the 'brand ambassador' for some product they don't use.
Combine that with the glowing celebrity magazine 'at-home' shoots and you find that at Christmas the world is full of beautiful images of smiling celebrities, perfect photographs designed to light a fire of envy in our souls. Images encouraging to imagine how perfect our lives would be if we had such an enormous tree and looked so immaculate immediately after decorating it.
But celebs have bad days at work. These pictures will make you wince with embarrassment and thank your lucky stars you don’t have a million followers on Instagram. We bring you five of the best.
In a photograph that can only have been dreamed up in the Mad Men office, the lovely Marilyn Monroe poses in an oversized stocking. Yes, she would be lovely to find in your stocking on Christmas morning, but only if all that nylon doesn’t catch fire.
Marilyn Manson doing a splendid job as Marilyn Manson by making us all want to wash our eyes out with bleach. At least we can take comfort from the array of appropriately-wrapped presents at his feet – we had a not-unrealistic fear that his presents would come wrapped in rat hides and garden snakes.
Shirley Temple, doing her best to look interested in a pile of random presents, in a photo shoot that was probably done in July. And yes, every child in the fifties got out of bed on Christmas morning with perfect rows of ringlets.
Liz Taylor in a charming attempt to look like a normal human while clearly hating every minute in this fabulous fifties shoot. Still, she was probably intrigued by the mechanics of it all. ‘So this is how you put the ornaments on? And at what point does your butler take over?’
Arnold is very, very serious about this ornament. He likes the colour – he’s going to bring it to his tanning salon – and he thinks the sparkles bring out the twinkle in his eyes. And if you don’t buy one EXACTLY THE SAME for your tree, he will come for you.